Hey everyone! It’s been almost 5 months since I made the biggest move in my life from California to South Carolina. I never in a million years would have guessed that anyone would be able to take me outta my beloved San Diego, much less across America to the Low Country! I truly did not think I would actually move all the way out here, between needing to keep my job and simply not wanting to go so far away from the only home I’ve ever known. But here I am, living the military wife life in South Carolina and I’m surviving!
Though, its true what they say about doing the unexpected when you enter into the military lifestyle. So, I’ve gone through the phase of being that wife that has finally shown up to her husbands duty station after never moving anywhere with him. If you’re a military wife, you may understand the feeling you have when you are new to an already formed group. I never thought I would have to experience trying to make new friends again after college. I have the best of friends I could ask for, only issue is, I have left them behind in San Diego. Therefore, here I was in a new state, a very unfamiliar state, no car, not even half of my belongings (thanks to COVID) and only a couple friendly faces.
Let me tell you, it is tough being the newbie in town, trying to fit into the volun-told spouses sorority group you just got thrown into. You may understand what I’m talking about or you may be a social butterfly making your way at every location. Unfortuently, I am not always that confident until I really get to know someone. I didn’t like to make the first move to invite people places or invite myself to coffee dates I wasn’t already invited to. Not to mention I’m still working so, yeah, see you after 5 ladies if its during the week.
A month or so goes by like this, but thankfully my husband set us up to have one other couple as our close besties out here and the wife is truly the sweetest friend I’ve gotten to make new friends with. We share many mutual feelings with trying to fit into the click and overall military lifestyle. It’s been an adjustment for sure, and a learning experience.
Thankfully, I’m learning my way around and making friendships one by one. Which makes it a whole lot easier to be OK this far from home. If there’s anything I’ve learned, its not to get caught up on feeling like the outsider or left out and immediately thinking you’ll have no friends because the only group you kind of know of, doesn’t make you feel included. Odds are, there are many other spouses feeling the same way, staying quiet and not attending events because they too feel uncomfortable.
Therefore, lets do each other a favor and show up to events even though we may feel uncomfortable at first and if you’re the host, reach out to the new people to let them know you want them to attend and to befriend them. You never know, you may meet someone who shares mutual feelings with you and you guys become besties! Also, if you know a new couple is coming in town, make an effort to invite them to smaller settings such as dinner, wine nights, coffee dates, and pool days. Being dropped into a community where bonds have already been made is really hard, not to mention learning your way around a new state, which anyone in the military understands is an adventure.
You never know who you’ll meet, you might meet your new pool date bestie, your GNO gals, your beach loving girlfriends, nail date friend, or photoshoot at sunset queen, all thanks to this crazy lifestyle, they call the military life.
I’m making my way, and this military wife life isn’t so bad. I’m excited for the friendships I’ve made now and the ones I am able to continue with in Yuma!
I hope this helps let you know, you’re not alone on your next PCS to a new location or if you’re not associated with the military lifestyle, I hope you’ve enjoyed learning a sliver about my perspective on it!
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